Hold On

We said that we’d be friends forever, and that we’d be in each other’s weddings, and our children would play together, the works. Basically that we’d be friends for the rest of our lives. At the time, I honestly believed that it was possible. That we could overcome whatever adversity life had in store for us, and that nothing would change even though we were all moving away from each other. And at first, that’s exactly how it was. We each did our best to make sure that although everything was completely different, we all pretended like everything was still the same. I would have never imagined how our relationships would change. We were supposed to be best friends, whatever that means. But when you really care about people with all of your heart, you tend to not want to disappoint them, and when you live hundreds of miles away it becomes quite easy if not instinctual to merely stop telling them the details of your life.

I had left town with the intention of never coming back. All that had happened in that town was in my past. I took both the terrible, terrible times in my life as well as some of the best memories I can ever hope to have with me to the city. However, that’s all they were to me once I moved: memories. Moments that had passed and that had no ability to ever come back. Of course there would be times of reminiscing, but that would be all it was, attempting to recall events that were long gone. But now I fear that in leaving all this behind, and instead moving out and moving on with my life in the city, that I have compromised all this, and have detached myself from not only my hometown but the people in it as well. One of the hardest things for me to do after I moved was to open myself up to new people because I had felt that I had already found the people that I wanted to share my life with. But as it turned out, it began to feel like those people were part of some past life, and I was forced to adapt to entirely new surroundings and develop completely new relationships.

Initially, I think I misunderstood the whole best friend ideal. I was taught that you shouldn’t have to talk to your closest friends all the time, because the true test would be if everything was the same when you actually had the chance to talk with them again. But what I didn’t know was that it wasn’t necessary or even a good idea at all for you to totally cut yourself off from people, just to test the theory. It all comes down to the people. If you care about the people in the way that you’d honestly do anything for them, then you should make that clear. If it so happens that you don’t feel as inclined as you once did, to tell them every intimate detail of your life, then maybe you shouldn’t. But that doesn’t mean that you let go of all ties completely. Rather, while you maybe be more comfortable with loosening said ties, you must hold on. Loving someone in any sense of the word must come with sacrifice. If you’re not willing to make any sacrifices for anyone else, then don’t make such a commitment by saying that you love them.