Apologies.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not calling, for not being there more, for not telling you the three simplest words I could ever say. I'm sorry for leaving you. I told myself that it does not do anything to dwell on the idea too long. That my reasons for leaving were completely justified. That everything wrong with us was your fault. I told myself that I was making the right decision. That it would be better for everyone, that I needed to leave you. I told myself that I shouldn't regret it. That one should never regret anything in one's life. That making a decision such as I did would add character. That it would contribute to my maturity and self-development. But it didn't.
I have spent years missing you. Wondering what you're doing at any given moment of every day. Wondering if you ever missed me. I have spent years wondering whether or not I did in fact make the right decision. Wondering if you'd ever take me back, if you still loved me, or if you even thought about me.
And then I saw you with her. You looked happy. You looked happier than you ever did with me. And then I saw you kiss her and I knew. She loved you back. I knew that I wasn't the love of your life, though you have always been the love of mine, despite everything. And then I saw you say "I do." I saw the minister pronounce you man and wife. Then I knew. You had gotten all you ever wanted with someone else, and I had lost you forever.
I'm sorry it wasn't me. I'm sorry for every hurtful thing I have ever said to you. I'm sorry I was never ready to let myself love you completely, the way you had always loved me. I'm sorry I never let you know just how much I was in love with you. I'm sorry I didn't have enough strength to stay. I'm sorry for leaving you.
But thank you for being strong enough to fall in love again, much stronger than I can ever even hope to be, though it pains me desperately to know it will never be with me.